


Decision

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Backstory, Canon Era, Canon Related, Child Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Pre-Canon, Underage Drinking, Violence, Young Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), attempted assault isn't explicit, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:43:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Power - That was what he needed to survive. Not just because Kenny told him so; because Levi experienced it everyday. Yet there's more to life than just power. The events that led Kenny to think an 11 year old Levi was strong enough to be on his own in the Underground.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will have 2 chapters. I don't know if there's a fic with these events, so thought I might as well try it. I believe it's not official, but I take it's Kuchel's pimp we see in c69. Levi's age at this moment isn't official either.  
> This took me so long to write I actually wrote a smaller fic in between, 'Choice'. I have barely done anything else for a whole week.
> 
> Written to 100+ plays of 'Fists Fall' by OTEP, 'Tear the Whole World Down' by We Are the Fallen and many nightcore versions of Evanescence music, specially 'End of the Dream'
> 
> as for warnings, the tags have them. The M rating isn't really necessary cause this isn't explicit, but there is some violence and Levi is 11. Some of the tags will be on chapter 2.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin or any characters. Man, I wish I did or that I could at least draw Levi.

 

The blade might as well be part of his hand, an extension of him. In many senses, it already was, whether he liked it or not.

He didn't mind it anymore. He didn't feel stress or guilt like he did in the beginning - and if he did, he learned to mask it just enough to not be used against him. His grip didn't shake anymore, he didn't think about how his mother would feel with his progress - and if he did, he learned to smother it in the late sleepless nights. His moviments became faster and stronger each time, until any tricks and alterations he might do to deviate from the original teachings worked just right and better. That was what he needed to survive. Not just because Kenny told him so; because Levi experienced it everyday.

 _We're fucking insignicant, kid. We're worse than vermin, garbage. And I can't fucking stand that. Our little lives, struggling just to survive, it's so damn enfuriating. That's why I want more, I want it all. That's all you need, ya hear me Levi? Power. Power allows you to live and have everything. You don't need anything else. You keep up, gotta go to the top, and tear the whole world down if ya don't like what ya see._ Kenny once told him, drunker than he probably thought he was. Levi registered the words because he wasn't so megalomaniac. He couldn't care less for Kenny's views. He had smaller objectives that Kenny would probably sneer at through his power-mad haze, but were quite enough for Levi.

And today he'd accomplish the biggest one.

It wasn't that anything in the past days had triggered this particular resolution; it was simply long due. There was no need stalling when he knew he could do this.

Levi tested the knife once again, turning it on his hand in a flash and striking an invisible enemy. He did it two more times, and then repeated, drawing the knife from the backpocket hidden beneath his mother's tattered shirt, trying out how much it slowed him down. It didn't.

"Nice," Kenny commented, returning from the restroom and hitting the door behind him. Levi had demanded to have a proper restroom after the last hole Kenny made them spend the night in. "Don't forget to keep a strong grip, even if it's that weird way of yours. You're small, you can't finish them like I do but-"

Levi kicked the imaginary oponent, swirled the blade and threw the knife in an arch that cut through invisible flesh with a sharp hiss.

"I can do just fine if they're at my level."

"That's what I was gonna say, brat. Ya should have let me finish."

Levi wanted to train his draw once again, so he pulled his jacket and shirt up to properly adjust the backpocket. Apparently, he must have exposed too much skin of his back, because Kenny found in it something new to amend.

"You need to gain some damn weight, put on some muscle. Otherwise you'll fly everytime I sneeze," Kenny rebuked, picking up his hat and passing by Levi with a little pat on his shoulder.

"Not so hard when you can't sneeze without farting."

"You little shit," Kenny turned back and held him by the nape, tousling his hair and shoving him down roughly, not really to hurt him, just to annoy Levi. It always worked, and Kenny grinned at the youngster's frown as he rubbed his neck.

"Stop that already."

"I'll stop when ya start growing. Maybe you need to drink more milk, make your bones stronger or somethin'." Kenny let out a _tsk_ sound which made Levi roll his eyes. The babbling was starting, and as usual, he blocked the old man's voice as he tucked the blade safely on his pocket, straightening his clothes and hair.

"Are you listening to me? I'm here trying to teach you some food important stuff!"

"Not interested."

"Then at least get better at the knife skills."

"Just watch me."

Kenny snorted and adjusted his hat on his head. "I've gotta better things to do with my time."

Levi shrugged. He checked the knife one last time before he glided outside Kenny's safehouse. He heard a rustle sound as Kenny put on the longcoat.

Not even a block away from the safehouse, Levi encountered an MP, a young man way too fresh out of recruitment to know what he'd gotten himself into, being sent to the Underground after Kenny's latest rampage. Three in a single night. Levi had distracted the last one. Everyone knew military police were particularly agigated with the deaths they couldn't even pinpoint a culprit to, and they were getting rougher in their investigations. But that guy looked like a baby. Levi didn't spare him more than a glance, the MP wouldn't be a threat where he was going and wouldn't be worth Kenny killing him right now. He simply ignored the MP's attempt to look professionally cold as he uselessly inspected the streets. Levi heard a merry greeting as Kenny too noticed the MP, nodding at him with his hat. Likewise, Kenny ignored him.

He hadn't shared with Kenny what he was intending to do, but it was obvious the older man had the intention to follow him from afar. Levi often called him out with a remark that made Kenny squint and growl something in return, but not this time. If he wanted to watch or evaluate or whatever the hell it was, let him.

Levi had wondered once if Kenny did this purposefully obvious following to create a controlled sense of freedom. If it had a sort of teacher intention, watching his steps from a distance to allow some supervised self growth. Or to remind possible stalkers and enemies that that scrawny brat was his unintended protegé, and possibly step in to help if some shitty situation unfolded.

He had wondered if Kenny would actually help him should tides turn and Levi found himself in a tight situation. Or if he would laugh and let him to get out of his own mess, even if it meant being knocked around.

Both had happened, so Levi had no idea what to expect. So that was basically the one time he had thought on the subject; he realized it was no use trying to decide which version of Kenny he actually felt safer with. Kenny wanted to follow him, good luck keeping up.

"You gotta a date or somethin'? I only race that much when I'm meeting some beautiful busty lass. You're reaching that age, uh?"

"You're not such a good stalker as you think."

"Who you're calling a stalker, midget?"

"Piss off somewhere else, Kenny."

"I ain't following you, runt, I'm on my way to drinking a nice beer. You goin' too?"

Levi turned to the square, the usual pack of people he found there only justified by the barrack that worked as a pub some feets away. Mostly men, who towered over Levi, loud chattering and smell of alcohol. His constant repulsion reached alarming levels in that filthy drench, but he could tolerate it in times of need. This would therefore be one.

MPs wouldn't do shit here. Too many Underground people for some military from the surface, and they didn't know who wanted to rip their throats. So there was none of them in sight.

He slithered between the men, an effortless task in every sense of the word. One of them waggled back and bumped against his shoulder, but Levi ignored him, sliding around the next man to move foward before anyone could really notice him. Kenny couldn't navigate so fast and seemlessly through the crowd, so he remained behind, and would stay in the sidelines. Levi peeked the faces as he passed, but he knew he had to get closer to the balcony.

The man stood out as if he was highlighted in both color and shape. When he had first found him drinking with the owner of the place, some days before, Levi remembered thinking if he actually stood out, or if the man simply registered in his mind differently. Either way, the man was remarkably large, even amongst beer-bloated drunks. Rather an accomplishment, in the Underground. But then again, scum like him had little work to do and enough income to fill their bellies. He was engaged in a loud conversation with an unknown, younger man.

It would be no problem.

Kenny would go for a quick hit to the throat; the man wouldn't even see it coming, drowning in his own blood in a couple of heart beats. The crowd would actually work in his favor, should he elect this scenario for a kill. Levi knew how it was done, knew it was Kenny's method and knew it worked.

It wasn't _his_ method. Not for a short, eleven year old. Kenny towered over the fat man, while Levi didn't reach his shoulders. Not a quick hit, but like in his training, a strategically planned incapacitating move would turned him as effective as Kenny and finish this in some seconds.

Not his method. Not this time.

"Hey."

The fat man didn't acknowledge him at first. The younger man that accompained him, drinking at his side, glanced at Levi, cackling at some sort of personal joke.

"Someone wants your attention," he babbled, pouring beer down his throat.

"Eh? Can't even fucking drink at peace, always get damn crawlers..."

The fat man turned eventually, right before Levi was ready to call him again. He apparently expected someone taller, as his eyeline gazed in a straight level, a lot higher from Levi's eyes. The man blinked at the empty space there and then lowered, finally finding the skinny young boy.

"Oh, it's an _actual_ crawler," he laughed, the black holes between his teeth made clear. It sent a familiar sense through Levi that he immediately wanted to shove off him like dirt. All things considered, the pimp hadn't changed that much. "Aren't you too young to be looking for a hooker?"

He really didn't remember him? Maybe it shouldn't be surprising.

"You took something from me."

The younger man with the beer shrugged.

"Tough luck."

Levi took a single glance at the snooper, his face an increasing scowl. Otherwise, his features didn't betray his feelings. His breathing was steady. Kenny would scold him otherwise, because Kenny never got emotional in his jobs, but then again, Levi wasn't Kenny.

Still, breathing steady.

"Do I look like I need to steal from crawlers? Beat it, kid," the fat man said, snorting and turning from the young boy.

Not so steady anymore.

"Nature really didn't give you common sense, did it."

"Beat it!"

"Don't turn your back to me, you fucking pig." His threat wasn't taken serious, just made the two men and several of the ones nearby sneer.

His hand flew to his back, and the action might have been familiar enough to the younger man because he immediately shouted "Knife!", but he didn't expect Levi to swirl on his heels and strike faster than a snake. He didn't move to draw the knife, rather used it as a distraction to use as momentum and increase speed. The fat man turned with the shout, and got immediately kicked in the stomach, sending him to his knees grunting and squealing like the pig he was, vomiting traces of beer and foam.

The younger man was startled by the agression, but was quick to react and move to punch Levi before he could attack the teethless pimp again. He caught Levi on the side of the head, misscalculating the height of his cheek. The hit drove him slightly off balance, staggering him just enough for the fat man to uncurl from around his belly and strike too. They were at the same level now, so the man's fist collided with Levi's nose and threw him back, blood coming out in pumps of pain.

The bystanders backed off hastely after the first strike, making room not to avoid injury, but to enjoy the spectacle. The cheers started to echo almost immediately, no one really knowing what was going on and who they were cheering for. They just cheered the violence.

That was when the younger man jumped to grab Levi, shouting threats and victory claims, and that was when Levi drew the knife, swirling the blade too fast to be seen and throwing it in an arch that cut through actual flesh this time, not an empty hiss sound but screams from the man as his dirty shirt grew damp, diagonal cut pouring blood through his abdomen. He stumbled back and out of Levi's range, more out of fear than from the actual injury.

The crowd cheered louder at that, clapping and probably already exchanging some bets between them.

Levi spinned around again, his jacket sliding through one of his arms, and found the fat man as he was standing up, greasy eyes and remaining teeth gritted in rage. With a growl that carried much more than he even cared to admit, Levi kicked the man in the head, but his leg collided with a forearm rather than a skull. He tried to make Levi fall, but this time he avoided losing his ground and maintained balance. The pimp stood up, all advantage currently lost - only a matter of working out a new advantage. The pimp wasn't as slow as his body might lead to assume, and he tried punching Levi several times before drawing a knife of his own.

Mistake and advantage.

The blade was part of his arm. The fat man might threaten people, might force people to work for him and might get others to do his dirty jobs, but he had held a knife in an actual fight about five times in his life. Levi was being groomed by a serial killer into becoming like him.

Yet he wasn't Kenny, and would never be.

Levi blocked the fat man's strike and sent the other knife flying through the air. More screams echoed. After attacking one of the legs, this time his kick found a head in its way, and the man fell down.

At a certain point, he realized some of the screams he heard were his own, but he didn't care to turn them into coherent words.

Levi ignored each and every single person around them, his eyes, his mind, his rage focused and shoved in each kick, his strength never feeling enough. He just wasn't strong enough, his body couldn't let go of all the rage in him, no matter if the pimp was sprawled on the ground beneath him, no matter if Levi literally jumped over him time and again. His foot stomped on the man's nose and it snapped beneath him.

Levi clenched around the man's collar, the muscles of his arm burning and straining from the abnormal weight as he pulled the man up, the pain working only to make him angrier.

"Do you fucking remember me now?!" The flaccid face beneath him was bloodied and starting to swell, a thick red trail wormed its way to the hair, the nose not as desfigured as it should, he still had too many teeth despite the effort. He was numbed and whimpering, a pathetic excuse of a pig, just like he wanted. He pulled the knife to the man's throat.

The bystanders cheered him on loudly, the sound helping to pump more adrenaline in his blood and filling him with a sense of power that, for once, made him feel like Kenny. He should kill this person that caused him and his mother so much pain, he shouldn't hesitate. Kenny would be angry if he backed down and didn't finish this; his mother would be sad if she saw him continue. Killing him would end it.

But it was over already. His mother was dead and no amount of killing would change that. Her wishes might echo in him, Kenny's scolding might affect him, but it was down to him to decide what to do.

Levi let the man fall head first to the ground, gasps of air and blood coming from his mouth. At least he'd leave some lasting damage, the pimp would be forced to remember the skinny little brat he misjudged for the rest of his days.

Levi breathed easy for once in his life. For once, he felt truly accomplished, and in a burst of adrenaline-induced pride, he looked up, looked for Kenny. Levi had completely ignored him until now, but with the cheers and incentive yells from the bystanders, he couldn't help but want to see Kenny's expression at such a fight he start and won, by his own means.

He did catch a glimpse of Kenny after searching for a moment. Kenny's white longcoat, back turned to him and moving away from the crowd.

For some reason, Levi couldn't help but feel an unexpected and annoyind sting of disappointment. His heart missed a beat it wasn't supposed to. So he immediately fought it off with snort, a frown reflected on his bloody face instead. What did he expect, anyway? That Kenny would clap and compliment him?

Swallowing down his pride and accomplishment as fast as they had appeared, Levi looked down at the fat man, coughing up his own blood, and kicked him again just for the sake of it.

Some yells encouraged him to finish the pimp off, but Levi turned his back to all of them and left, holding the bloody knife in his hand. He didn't want to dirty the shirt or the jacket.

His face was sticky and disgusting from his own blood, his hair messy and damp from sweat, and slowly, the pain from the punch was returning to his senses. He found a sheet put out to dry and cleaned the knife in it, splashing his face with the water from a bucket nearby. The owner of both bucket and sheet soon appeared, a teenage girl that called him off with a shriek and demanded he paid for the water he ruined. Levi just promised he'd return it and went off his way, ignoring the rest of her yells.

Levi returned to the safehouse through an alternative route in order to avoid the young MP from earlier, but he should have guessed it'd be empty. The uncalled disappointment plunked him again, and he feared for an instant Kenny was disappointed in him. He brushed that thought immediately. Kenny was probably just drinking the damn beer he said he wanted.

Whether he would be pissed at him or not, it was a good fight, that he couldn't criticize. Levi would piss Kenny off later and shove his own words back at him.

"You got in a fight, eh, Levi?" The owner of Kenny's favorite pub asked when Levi entered, quickly surveying the tables and few occupants. Kenny wasn't among them.

"Kenny's been here already?"

"Haven't seen him." That annoying twitch might have been more visable than he realized, because the owner added: "Wait around, ya know how he is, he'll show up. Wanna a beer?"

Several people, Kenny included, often tried to get him drunk. They made bets to see who could beat the scrawny kid, beer mugs pilling up, and they kept losing. Levi had made quite the money that way. His resistance to alcohol was just way above normal, specially for his age.

Which could actually be a problem, apparently, because he wouldn't mind getting drunk for once.

"Wanna a beer, Levi?"

"Sure. Wanna start a contest?"

.

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention 'Something Right', fanfic by TsubameTrebleClef on ff net, it's beautiful and it inspired me.
> 
> Thanks very much to IvyClare2000, Scripto, TitanSlayer98, Killerwhale and Federtanz! And thanks to everyone who reads, thanks for your time, your opinions are welcome.
> 
> I'm so damn thankful to 'Fists Fall' by OTEP, seriously. That song came like some sort of endless inspiration and writing-block destroyer.
> 
> Warnings: like before, violence, and mentions of prostitution / forced prostitution.
> 
> .

 

Five days went by without any sort of news from Kenny. Levi had no hard time getting by; he was well trained in sustaining himself alone, Kenny had ensured that. He only stole once, otherwise he got legit payment over odd jobs (and a pretty nice pot from the drinking bet). In between, he went back to the teenage girl whom he had ruined the sheet and the water and returned her two buckets of water and a couple of bedsheets. She thought he was stealing something from her when she recognized his shape, but she stopped her screaming when Levi threatened to pour the damn buckets over her head.

As for Kenny, fuck it. He wouldn't get in trouble easily, and if he did, well, let him get out his own shit alone.

Night time was, shamefully, the worst out of it. Levi already had his quirks against staying still in dark rooms, waiting for some form of magical tiredness to shut his brain and make him go to a fairytale land of undisturbed sleep. Being alone certainly did nothing to help that. He tried to put some sense into his own head, though; it wasn't the first time Kenny would go missing for some days. Kenny the Ripper couldn't just kill MPs in the Underground. He'd have soon stopped enjoying it with the few people he could encounter down here. He would go away for some days - never more than three, alright -, but he usually implied his intention before. Either way, Levi wasn't a little kid anymore. Kenny could and would do whatever he felt like doing, despite what a little brat might prefer or not. That wouldn't change. So it was up to Levi to change. In this case, learn to rest without being haunted by things and fears not even he understood. Or maybe learn to avoid resting altogether.

On the sixth night, he was particularly worned out from the day's job, and from the fight he found himself in over some stupid guys who picked on him. He didn't eat anything when he returned to the safehouse, an annoying bruise on his shoulder straining him. It ought to say something that he didn't even consider trying to clean the place to relax. He just went curling on the corner of the mattress on the floor, his bed, without laying down or even taking off his shoes - an action he was sure he'd regret in the morning, all the disgusting facts prying on him. Levi rested his back against the wall instead, the blanket wrapped around him.

Alone, tired and with no one to have to put up a strong face, he allowed himself to hug the blanket tightly, an all too familiar feeling creeping its way inside him. He missed being tucked to bed, having some form of fondness shown to him, the cuddles only his mother would give him, a sign of love. A simple safety that was just enough. Kenny was far from that, quite the opposite end of his mother, but the company was reassuring, even on the days he grew so tired of the older man he just wanted to punch that damn tall face, or punch his chin at least to make his jaw clench shut. When he thought Levi was heavy asleep, Kenny would pull the blanket over him, or just make sure he was covered, more often than the man probably cared to admit. Levi wouldn't demand or expect love and caring from anyone else after his mother, but those instances with Kenny were a silent sign in their own right and he enjoyed them.

Now that stupid prick was who-knows-the-fuck-where without even saying a word about it. Levi allowed, quite satisfied, the previous sadness to be drowned in annoyance over Kenny. When he did return, Levi wouldn't show any indication at all that he had missed the damn guy, never. He'd ask: _'So how much did your ass get beaten up? Bruises still hurting?'_ , and Kenny, being Kenny, would snort annoyingly, hold him by the nape and shove him aside _'As if, brat! You wish you could have come out of your fights as spotless clean as I do. Well shit, I'm sounding like you now! Ah! Cleaning little bastard.'_ , _'No, I'm honestly wondering. Do you have many bruises? 'Cause I have twice that much to stuff you with, you stupid pig.'_ Kenny would try to grab him again, and Levi would now deflect easily, dodging time and again until the older man would reluctantly give up, probably trying to beat Levi in a new beer competition instead; and losing just as shamefully.

Levi's eyebrows frowned on their own accord and he groaned silently. For the time being, he rested his chin on his arms, wrapped on the blanket, and wished he wasn't alone.

...

He had let sleep catch him, obviously, because his eyes were lazy and drowsy when he opened them. The side of his head was slightly sore from resting against the wall, and the bruise on his shoulder was still pressuring the skin slightly, but otherwise he was comfortable. He blinked slowly and prepared to find some coziness against the wall, a rustle just nearby. Fatigue and laziness made him blink again, and another rustle caused another blink. A slight cracking, weight moving. For half a second, his thought was _'Kenny'_ , but immediately his instinct kicked in and dissolved the tiredness.

The safehouse was engulfed in darkness, save for a dim light coming from outside. It shouldn't be there, because the door shouldn't have been open.

Levi darted through the floor faster than a snake, unwrapping himself from the cover. He didn't draw the knife, he didn't know how many there were, he just rolled for the passage that'd get him out, but despite his speed, it seemed like he was a rat trapped. A heavy weight fell over him as a man threw a hand against his back, stalling him enough to shove another on his hair and pull him up hard. Levi held the pain in an angry grunt and reached for the blade on the backpocket, his goal now clear, yet another set of hands pinned his wrist and squeezed hard before he could sink it on the man behind him.

"Son of a bitch," he let out without thinking. The man behind him released his hair and laced strong arms around his chest instead, binding Levi's arms against his body. He used it to his advantage instead, legs raising and kicking in reflex, sustaining his weight on his capturer and aiming for the other one, but failed to do more than dab the guy who took the knife. How many of them were anyway?

"Easy now," the one in front of him said playfully, earning himself another kick that hit only air.

"Damn kid's feisty," the man holding him hissed, and Levi's rage turned to him now, lifting his legs again and throwing his whole weight to the man's knees. The man's built was twice his; despite the loud grunt, it wasn't enough to tear himself free, and instead the man punched Levi on the kidney, numbing his resistance momentarily.

"Now that's courage right there," Levi spat out through gritted teeth. "I'd be pretty good in life if I fucking attacked people in their sleep."

"You ain't even 'people' kid, look at you," the one who took the knife noted with a grin.

"You afraid of attacking people your own size?"

"Sieg, my hands' are kinda tied right now, are you gonna just stand there?" the man holding him noted, lifting Levi in the air now, more because of the height difference than anything else; it didn't stop Levi from keep trying to attack him and other guy, Sieg.

"I like the ones that fight back, Albert."

If there was one thing Levi was, it was tenacious. Despite the strength of the opponents, both men now punching him, Levi ignored the bruises and kept kicking them and threw his head back violently, hitting the man dead on. Through yells and curses, Albert released him only so he could lock a stranglehold and pulled him up again, making him lose all ground beneath his feet. Levi clenched his teeth and tried to loosen the grip just enough, but it was no use, he couldn't even try to move his head. His heart started pumping at his ears and deafening him, but against his own body signs that this meant he should stop resisting, knowing the air was leaving him too fast drove him angrier rather than defeated. He threw his elbow back hard, not really hearing the grunt of pain through his own gasps and heart beat. He was choking and knew he wouldn't be able get free this way, which either way led a final attack that came too frail, his feet dangling against the man's legs. He couldn't believe it'd be so easy to knock him out.

The arm around him released suddenly and Levi fell to his knees and then crouched forward, coughing and choking.

"He just doesn't give up, uh? Gotta give it to ya, kid, you hit me good. Am I bleeding much, Sieg?

"What the hell is wrong with him, man? This is stubborn to a new level."

"He's feisty alright," A familiar voice agreed, sending yet another spark of pure rage through Levi. "I fucking hate brats like this."

Kenny would scold him so much, and this time he was right to do it.

"I should have just ripped your throat open," he said between coughs, both to the teethless pig and to himself.

"Learning from Kenny the Ripper?" the pimp jeered, too ironically. Kenny was known in the Underground, but only to a relatively small number of people; and not all of those knew Kenny the Ripper was the smartass with a hat and white longcoat. The fat pimp's voice came out nasally, his nose turned into a bloated potato from Levi's rage in front of the pub, days before. "You'll regret having humiliated me that way, you stinking brat."

In a flash of anger, with no weapon in hand or actual plan, he attempted to dart to the fat pimp, but Albert held him again by the hair and pulled him back, pinning him kneeled down in place.

"I don't need Kenny to kill you," he spat back. His bruises were starting to throb all over, his throat was hurting too and he knew his face was bleeding, but he elected to ignore the pain. "You're the one that needs two guys to beat up a kid. You can't even take a shit by yourself."

The fat pimp snarled and step forward, pulling his arm back and sending it flying against Levi's face. The pain exploded and he would have fallen if Albert didn't pull his hair and held his bruised shoulder to keep him up.

"Ya were saying?"

"How the hell did you find this place?" Levi spit blood, bottom lip burning and throbbing. He clenched his hand around Albert's fist to try releave some of this yanking, it was pissing him off.

"Ya aren't as clever as ya think ya are. Running back to your shit hole after being picked on, like a little kid does."

Point noted.

His eyes adjusted to the dark environment, the faint light from outside enough to almost discern the outlines of the ones in front of him. Sieg was a thinny young man wearing an opened waistcoat. His face wasn't too clear, but enough to tell that his cocky manner of speaking was reflected in his expression. All he needed to know about Albert, the one pinning him, was that he was tall and stronger than him. As for the pimp, Levi wished he could see for sure if he had managed to knock some considerable teeth out of him.

Sieg rolled the knife he took from Levi and gave it to the pimp, resting against the wall where Levi used to be, boots over the mattress. It pissed him off to have some punk soiling his space, but it reminded him of something. Who would've thought that sleeping with his shoes would actually benefit him? He had a thin blade hidden on the sole.

"From your babbling the other day, I suppose ya're one of the whores' midgets."

Levi tried to hit Albert again with his elbow, feeling the shoulder bruise twitch painfully. As expected, the tall man hit him back and Levi purposefully let the arm fall as if he was finally giving in to defeat. That way, he wouldn't attract suspicion as he'd moved closer to his left foot.

"Now it's ya who's taken something from me, and ya pay me back. No one attacks me in the middle of the fucking street, what kinda messsage does that send?"

"That you're an useless pig."

The pimp stepped closer again, blocking most of the light from outside with his fat form. From the smell, he was probably wearing the same shirt from the other day.

"How I see it, there's only three ways we solve this," the fat man said, splutter coming out from the space of his missing teeth. Levi focused on slowly turning his hand to his shoe. "One, we beat the living shit out of ya, break your damn limbs and leave ya here with your lesson learned. Whether ya die or not, it's not my concern."

If he honestly expected fear and quivering, Levi didn't even blink.

"Two, ya pay me back what ya've done by working for me. Ya know, pick after the family business." Albert chuckled and grabbed his cheek, pinching him hard. Levi pulled his face away. "Feisty boys have a market, believe me, and it tends to go by beating the living shit out of you daily to get you calmer. The more stubborn, the better, really."

He showed Levi the blade, turning it on his hand.

"Three, we just end it here and now and be done with it, after ya get your healthy dose of getting smudged to a fucking pulp. As ya can see, all three have a common ground."

Levi considered the situation and how close he was to the thin grip of the hidden blade, moving annoying slow not to be noticed. Cowering like a kid might actually help to lower their guard, so he did it. Albert chuckled, patting him on the head.

"That's good, kid."

The fat man cocked his head to the side, small eyes gazing at him. All of them were adjusted to the little light, all of them could distinguish enough of each other.

"Oh," he mumbled finally, lips parted. "Oh... Olympia."

His plan halted immediately, Levi couldn't stop his face from darkening and expressing too clearly how many more times he wanted to kick that teethless mouth.

"Olympia... Kuchel, wasn't it? Yeah, I had a couple o' goes at her." The fat man was trying to provoke him, even the other two fuckers knew that with their increasing grins and chuckles, but Levi really wanted to break his face. "Ya have her looks alright. I wouldn't have thought she'd die if that creeper with the hat hadn't come by and stole ya. Which really..." he paused, rubbing his broken nose with a stupid thoughtful look. "Which really means I own ya from the get go, right? I guess that solves the question. How much do ya think I can sell him for?"

"You'll have better luck if you break his spirit a little before selling him," Sieg suggested from his corner. "Show him how the real world treats pretty abandoned kids."

"Yeah, 'cause if he escapes the buyer he'll come after ya," Albert agreed.

"Well, my workers're supposed to work before they're sold. Since ya fellows are such good folks, I'll make ya special price. Albert, Sieg?"

"Nah," Albert pinched him again, but in other circumstances, it would almost be playful. "He's a kid, and a boy. Not my type."

"I have enough for four beers," Sieg patted his pocket, some coins jingling as he picked them out and stepped forward.

"Well, whatever." The pimp took the money and before Levi pulled the blade, a new heavy punch flew to his face and again, he only remained on his knees because of Albert. Appropriately, the man untangled his hand from Levi's hair, making him lose balance when a second punch was shoved. Levi landed painfully, not really wanting to admit how much his ears were dizzying and how sick he got. He managed to lift his knees to his chest, looking like a curling baby. He could take their laughter, but he wasn't about to let any other chance slip.

The pimp held him roughly, picking him by the neck to force him on his knees again and locking his fat hand over his mouth.

...Again, nature hadn't granted common sense to that man.

The pimp let out a howl when Levi sunk his teeth deep in the man's flesh, making the other two henchmen jump in a startle. Levi slid the blade from its compartment and swinged it, and in that instant there was no pain or fear or worry. If he could have stopped to think about it, it would have been almost a jolt, a clear sense of himself, of being awaken for the first time. It came down to that moviment he had trained so many times, and yet it was different from any other time.

He swinged the blade and burried it on the man's throat, blood spilling and coating both of them as he ripped it out and swinged it a second time through the soft flesh.

It was nothing like the shaking, wide-eyed terrified kid that he was years back when he first had to kill an MP and had earned superior chuckles from Kenny. Not like himself, three weeks before, hiding his shaking hands and masking his fear from more than just Kenny. Not like himself six days before, when despite his hatred, he didn't feel the need to kill.

He _could_ kill, and he in that instant, he wanted to. As the teethless pimp coughed and drowned in the blood coming in gushes from his mouth, Levi felt that jolt and it felt right - for him, to him. He had this capacity and he'd use it. Power.

While Sieg had stumbled against the wall, Albert had charged. Levi ripped the knife out of flesh and jumped against the tall man, missing the neck out of Albert's quick reflex and burrying it on the collarbone instead. The man howled in pain, and Levi spinned the blade in a blink of an eye and cut air and then bone.

Sieg laid glued to the wall, too petrified to apparently consider running. He too seemed to be choking, unable to force oxygen down his lungs and pump his blood. Levi jumped away from Albert as the man fell down like a castle of cards and barely spared Sieg half a look. He could feel the man's fear, and could feel his own power. Whether the man stayed or ran, Levi would get him.

So instead, he turned back to the pimp as the man's body had a couple of spasms and grew limp. The knife that had been stolen was returned to its place on the backpocket hidden by his mother's shirt, and he tousled the man's pockets, finding the coins. Levi finally looked up to Sieg then, and the man let out a low ridiculous whimper as he spinned a coin on his fingers.

"I suppose this is mine."

"That... t-that's- that was just-"

"Oh yeah, I know it was just a joke."

"I-I didn't-"

Levi moved towards him and shoved the blade into his stomach, pulling out and seeing his mattress and blanket get drenched in blood. That sight managed to pry annoyance into him as the body fell down and stumbled over the place he used to sleep on. He'd have to steal all that again now.

He didn't look back at anything. There was nothing he wanted to salvage, he just wanted to get out of it and go somewhere else, anywhere.

It didn't change the fact that he was literally covered in blood. It didn't change the fact that despite being night time, people roamed the street. The people that caught sight of him quickly exchanged words between them and changed course through different streets, and at that moment Levi was thankful for it.

Now that the adrenaline was drawing out, it was like everything was slowly draining from him yet he wouldn't stop walking. Each step brought a question, where to go, just how dirty he was, how would he take the blood from his mother's shirt, did any of the wounds need proper treatment, how to find treatment, could he wash all that blood way and where to bathe, how long would the awaken bruises take to heal, would eat make him feel better, how long would Kenny take to return, how would they reunite. Why did he feel so different killing when it had always made him uncomfortable. What was that?

"Hey! Kid, are you alright?"

Levi had been looking up the whole time, just had not seen anything. When he focused his eyes and blinked, he recognized the colors of a military uniform, a gun ready to aim.

"Shit."

"Halt!" but before the MP finished shouting, Levi had already dived to a side street and darted away, hearing the echo of the footsteps starting to pursue, but not firing. One of the new recruits, clearly, still Levi wasn't about to be captured and have to be saved or abandoned by Kenny.

Levi squeezed through windows and fled through abandoned buildings until he lost his tail. He found a couple of orphans in one of the abandoned apartments, the two kids staring at him in fear. Levi just left them be, but seeing them made him wonder how many people there might be in the building and whether or not he could blend in and find a safe place for the night. He ran up the stairs and found an open door that gave him a division that was meant to be a room, sometime ago. It was blessfully empty, but also stripped of any furniture. It had one window turned to the street, which Levi surveyed before allowing himself to breathe out and fall against the wall, sliding to the ground and trying to ignore as much as possible the amount of filth he had over, under and around him.

What a day. His body was trying to force it into him at last, he had to slow down. From the pain, from the straining, and from that jolt that ran through him and shoved the knife precisely and relentlessly.

It was self defence. Levi was saving himself, there was little doubt in that aspect. But it felt different. He was drenched in blood, his hands were coated in it, now dried and cracking thin layers and pulling the skin beneath it. Was this normal? Or was it right?

Where the fuck _was_ Kenny? He had no one else he could try to ask any of those questions. Even if all he got was a laughter and a shove aside, Kenny ought to know enough about killing to at least give him something eventually, some comment. Was this supposed to mean he was turning like Kenny? He would start killing people for a living?

Alone, he had to try to find some form of answer to all that. Self defence was very different from cold blood killing like Kenny. It was a jolt of power from the adrenaline, from fear he probably might have felt... only he didn't.

He didn't feel scared. At all. Not even when the pimp was threatening him, or when he was being beaten or sold. Much less when he killed them, soaked in that strange feeling. Levi always had an inner struggle regarding helping Kenny, trying to control his fear. So was this supposed to mean he was getting better at it? Kenny would classify it as evolution, getting better indeed. Starting and beating fights of his own, surviving against the odds. It was power, like he always said it was all ne-

Levi's eyes widened. He turned them from the wall to the floor, not really seeing any of it.

Kenny couldn't possibly know of what had just happened, but he had accompained an evolution in many ways. Levi himself had felt particularly proud when he found and beat down the fat teethless pimp six days ago. He had done it alone, by his own means, against more opponents and bigger than him. He took his own decision by not killing the man at the time, and with that, consequences were also his responsibility.

But the point was, all that happened under one of those frequent, weird followings Kenny did. Had he really been evaluating him? Seeing how much he could hold his own ground? How powerful he had become on his own?

Levi streched out his bloody hands, three different people and his own combined. Whichever way he might try to see it, right or wrong, that _was_ a sign of power. He wouldn't have been able to do that before, nor would he have the need to fight alone in that tough situation. Yet he had everything in him, according to Kenny's standards. Tough situations resolved by his own power, alone.

And he was alone for a reason.

Kenny wasn't missing. He had left.

For the first time on this night, finally, his heart skipped a beat and sinked. He forgot how to breathe, until eventually his lips parted.

His mother was taken by disease, against her will or Levi's best efforts. But now, nothing had forced this. It was deliberate, and planned. No matter his own wishes, or his fears, or _him_. It didn't matter.

Kenny was gone. He had left.

Kenny had left _him_.

.

**the end**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it and can leave a word about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think Kenny was abusive (physically, he certainly was psychologically), he was neglecting. That 'shove' thing I mentioned in the beginning is something I remember watching guys do to each other frequently in my school days.
> 
> A friend sent me the song 'Fists Fall' by OTEP, unknowing that I was trying to write this. I had never heard it before and it became unexpectably appropriate and I'm thankful for it. I am not exagerating when I say I've listened to it over 100 times while writing this. (I'd recommend discretion listening/watching that videoclip btw).
> 
> Writing has become increasingly harder for me. Thanks for reading, feedback and kudos are appreciated. Chapter 2 won't take too long to be posted.


End file.
